Long live the experts!

The amusing and UNBEATABLE expert opinions of experts on

1)Falling stock

"The stock has support at #@#. If it stops there it will not fall further"

-How intelligent!

2)Rising stock

"The stock has resistance at #$#. If it stops there it will not rise further."

-Amazing!

3)Volatility

"The markets are choppy. They are expected to remain so till they get any direction."

-How logical!

4)Direction of Indian markets

"The Indian markets are likely to follow the global cues."

-The global cues cannot be known locally!

5)Ranging Markets

"Markets are likely to remain range bound till there is a decisive breakout or breakdown!"

-Thank you Mr.Expert. We never knew that!

6)Trend

"This trend is likely to continue till the liquidity is there!"

-How surprising!

7)What next

"I think the markets may consolidate and look for a direction!"

-Very smart!!!

8)Why it happened

"It was on the cards."

....and we believe you

9)Why it didn't happen

"It was too premature"

-who made it so?

10)Disclosure

"I don't personally hold any position. My clients might hold a position in it"

-Poor clients....what a position!!!