Stop running

In psychology there is a famous principle known as James Lange Principle. It is equally applicable in trading, trading being predominantly a psychological game

That principle says 

We don’t run because we fear, we fear because we run

Except in real emergencies, We  should stop panicking, stop running in life as well as trading

We will be successful even if we are injured in the beginning. Because when we stop running, we see. And when we see, it changes the game.

Everything is not an emergency

The butcher house

: Stock market is a butcher house in the garb of casino under the license of trading.....self talk 

: For profitable trades, traders don't have to or need to do anything.....Operators do what all is to be done....traders just have to choose the direction, trust the method and hold tight....self talk

: operators are nice people.....they never hurt anybody's sentiments.......they never make any budding trader feel outrightly that trading may not be his or her cup of tea......they bleed them like leeches...till they understand.....self talk

: stock trading is not a nice thing from both sides......only from the winner's side....and winners are generally by rotation......

: there are two types of traders.....amateurs and professionals. the day all amateurs are gone, there will still be two types of traders....amateur professionals and professional professionals.......till u approach trading with professional approach, u stand little chance.....self talk

: there may be a simple way of trading but there is no easy way....avoiding the basics of trading is only to prolong the already bleak chances of success.......because any budding trader has only limited mental strength and peace of mind to spend, let alone money to lose......

: a software is the surest way to commit trading suicide if the algorithm is wrong.....and to get the right algo u have to know the game itself......off-the-shelf algorithms are poison

: a trading software is not an alternative to learning trading.....it is complementary to trading.....

: a good software can multiply ur trading success, a bad one can divide it....

: i have seen most of the traders trade just because they don't have access to any other form of "kick"

: trading is a wonderful entertainment provided u just quit when the ticket money is vasool......don't sell yourself

: bring yourself back.....

: trading is the most difficult and least paying business in the world if you don't know how to.....and the most easy and highest paying business in the world if do learn..... 3:52PM, 28/02/2015] Jagmohan Singh: For profitable trades, traders don't have to or need to do anything.....Operators do what all is to be done....traders just have to choose the direction, trust the method and hold tight....self talk

: operators are nice people.....they never hurt anybody's sentiments.......they never make any budding trader feel outrightly that trading may not be his or her cup of tea......they bleed them like leeches...till they understand.....self talk

: stock trading is not a nice thing from both sides......only from the winner's side....and winners are generally by rotation......

: there are two types of traders.....amateurs and professionals. the day all amateurs are gone, there will still be two types of traders....amateur professionals and professional professionals.......till u approach trading with professional approach, u stand little chance.....self talk

: there may be a simple way of trading but there is no easy way....avoiding the basics of trading is only to prolong the already bleak chances of success.......because any budding trader has only limited mental strength and peace of mind to spend, let alone money to lose......

: a software is the surest way to commit trading suicide if the algorithm is wrong.....and to get the right algo u have to know the game itself......off-the-shelf algorithms are poison

: a trading software is not an alternative to learning trading.....it is complementary to trading.....

: a good software can multiply ur trading success, a bad one can divide it....

: i have seen most of the traders trade just because they don't have access to any other form of "kick"

: trading is a wonderful entertainment provided u just quit when the ticket money is vasool......don't sell yourself

: bring yourself back.....

: trading is the most difficult and least paying business in the world if you don't know how to.....and the most easy and highest paying business in the world if do learn.....

a yogi can be a better trader!

do u ever feel the same chill down the spine when u watch a horror movie without sound?

then why trade without muting the sound of business channels!

or swallowing every bit or opinion being thrown about in every article or discussion or group! experts have explanations, extrapolations and expectations but not predictions. otherwise, they would be trading themselves.

and consensus of amateurs means nothing except the bait for the operators do exactly the opposite

stay silent, stay studied, stay disciplined

opportunity won't come just because u r ready

it will, rather, come when u r not!

only practice of discipline can make u be successful in market.

a yogi can be a better trader!

games operators play - II

table tennis

= when the operators know that the market can neither go up nor down for some time, they play table tennis from left to right to left between a boundary.

-----

sumo wrestling

= while still in a range, when the operators foresee the market shifting in a particular direction, they turn sumo wrestlers and drag the trade out of the range using mental tricks and sheer money power.

-----

rugby

= when the operators see a gap in the positions taken by mass traders, they pick "the trade" and run!

-----

equestrian

= when the operators see an opportunity in a particular direction, but notice a hurdle, they turn jockeys and play equestrian.

-----

chess

= when nothing is happening, they play chess and offer their rooks or even the queen as bait to checkmate.

mind v/s indicators

who makes the trading decision

you or your mind?

obviously your mind.

you are nobody

your mind is the real you

and what is your mind?

is it the hardware which is mind

or the software in it?

obviously it is the software

if hardware were the mind

all minds in the world would have been the same

and you would be making money in the markets as much as

the most succesful trader having the same hardware!

so,

it is the software that is the mind

and it is this software which is trading

not you!

if you are losing more than you are winning

then the culprit is the software!

who programmed this software?

was it programmed in C++ or Java or VB?

how much time would it have taken to develop this software?

well, no programmer programmed your mind's software!

this software was programmed

through a lifetime of

conscious and subconscious learnings and experiences!

whatever you think

is not you but the the software in your mind that is thinking

on the basis of its likes and dislikes

preferences and biases

fears and greeds

lessons and prejudices

programmed into it till date!

--

everyday

during trading hours

this software is pitched in a direct fight

with the logical signals of technical indicators!

do you have any idea who wins this fight

day after day

everyday?

it's your mind's software!

T.Harv Eker has also strongly endorsed this in his classic

"secrets of a milionaire mind".

the poor logical technical indicator is always vetoed

unless he is saying what is same as the programmed mind is saying!

is it surprising any more that you have been losing despite knowing indicators?

--

and for heavens sake

now don't start flogging mercilessly your mind!

it's not his fault!

start reprogramming it with

"millionaire" thoughts and habits and behaviour patterns!

till date you have not been a milliOnaire

and hence your programmed thoughts are not those of a millionaire

rather, you have been hating the millionaire coterie hearts-of-hearts all these years

and hence your programmed minds are anti-millionaire

whereas your conscious mind wants to be one!

--

tell your mind that

money is not a sin!

profit is not a dirty word, loss is!

tell him gently that

it is not a crime to be wealthy!

risk is not bad but a must!

all sweet things are not profitable

and all bitter things are not bad!

tell him to be less fearful and more bold

tell him that the company of the losers is not a good thing

tell him that it is ok to be oppotunist

tell him that it is ok to profit at other's expense

tell him that it is not a sacrifice to lose in the market

.....tell him a hundred more things

ask him to dare to unlearn old things not fit in the ruthless trading world

persuade him to learn new lessons....

because what he learns

will react in your bank balance!

ready for it - II

if being mentally not ready

is responsible for not succeeding in stock trading

here is a different but effective way to develop a 'millionaire mindset'

but to do that first i need to share with you something

--

in his masterpieces

'6 thinking hats'

and

'6 action shoes'

the great thinker and management guru

Edward de Bono had beautifully driven home the point

that every person has and needs many faces

which he shows or can show!

every face is different

and has a specific ability

suitable for a particular situation

represented by different kinds of 'shoes' or 'hats' in de Bono's books!

it is like playing different roles.

the persona has to come in a totally different avatar for each role!

the problem arises when the man plays the wrong role on the wrong stage!

e.g. if one were to sit across the negotiation table

with the mindset of 'formal navy shoes' (formal approach)

in a situation which demanded

the mindset of 'pink slippers' (informal approach)

the outcome is likely to be a disaster.

what you feel like and behave like and look like

in 'formal navy shoes'

is totally opposite to

how you feel and behave and look

in 'pink slippers' or any other type of shoes!

so, whatever the challenge

just select the right kind of 'action shoes' or 'thinking hat'

and succeed!

--

based on the above

here is the trick to develop "a millionaire mindset"

which is otherwise difficult without

a million dollars in your bank account!

--

"Act"

--

in other words

just play the role of a "millionaire"!

i know, you would say that

since you are not a millionaire

your role play will be faulty!

well, don't worry about that.

you will do it quite well

better than a real millionaire!

--

in fact

you can prepare yourself for any role or responsibility

or challenge in life

by just starting to act the role...

first play the role

then it will come out naturally!

--

feel like

behave like

act like

look like

think like

a millionaire in that very situation!

ask yourself

what different would a millionaire think in such a situation?

what would a millionaire do different in such a situation?

how would a millionaire react differently to this situation?

this way you will not chicken out of situations where you shouldn't have

this way you will have the courage to take a risk your indicators say you should have

this way you will survive the difficult situation without booking profit prematurely

this way you will book the stop loss ruthlessly like a seasoned emotionless businessman

...and so on

you will realise that the trouble used to arise

when we used to react in petty and penny ways of

"non-millionaires"!

a change in decisions

will change the results for you!

--

even if you are a rocket scientist or a surgeon or an engineer or a chartered accountant

your daily mannerism and thinking patterns and fears are different from that of a millionaire

and this is the root cause of faulty decisions

which have landed you in your present state-of-affairs!

--

in T.Harv Eker's words

by acting

you are programming your mind

to generate feelings

to create thoughts

to trigger actions

which will bring amazing and different results!

trading decisions!

5 frogs were sitting on a log of wood

3 out of them decided to jump

how many are left behind?

"2" replied the student.

"wrong! all 5 are still sitting there" the teacher shot back!

"there is a difference between making a decision and acting on the decision!" he explained!

---

the story got etched in the student's mind.

days passed

and then years....

the student became teacher

in 'School of Stock Trading'!

---

"let me tell you a story" he announced in the class

"5 frogs were sitting on a log of wood

all 5 jumped off it!

how many had decided to jump?"

students got really confused.

they had heard about the famous story where the teacher asks how many are left behind!

but this story was strange!

when nobody answered

the teacher declared

"none"

"all 5 jumped in panic without thinking"

"they were all amateur stock traders!"

understanding crowd - IV

"Strength of the crowd is in its numbers"

As a corollary, when two crowds of differing opinions come face to face, the bigger crowd decides the resultant!

As another corollary, the larger the crowd the longer it survives before getting scuttled!

A rally is nothing but crowd behaviour at its finest!

So, applying the above logic to a rally

the bull camp is the defending crowd

the bear camp is the offensive crowd

when both these crowds come face to face

1) the bigger crowd decides the direction of the market

2) the larger the following (volumes) of the winner crowd, the longer the rally sustains

.
Also, the speed of a correction is directly proportional to the speed of dispersing of the tired crowd and the speed of increase in the following of the challenger crowd.

.

.

.

.
(jointly written with Ashish Dewett)

.

.
(to be continued)

understanding crowd - III

A full century ago

French social psychologist Gustave Le Bon had said

"A crowd can never accomplish acts demanding a high degree of intelligence"

Crowd behaviour is utter mediocrity at its extreme hype!

All crowds are destined to disperse after the binding force - the influence, fades!

A crowd movement is like a tide that washes ashore all rubbish alongwith pearls and seashells!

Crowd behaviour is stupidity and mass-hypnotism at its high!

Nobody knows why but everyone is running because he sees everyone running.

It is easy to establish the presence of such a contagion, but not easy to explain.

Proof (of what is happening) becomes more sanctimonious than the Reason (of why it is happening)!

World is full of approval-seeking people ever-so-willing to be labelled as "right"

and there is no way they can be right except being with the crowd!!

Hence, there is no dearth of followers in a crowd!!!

Beyond a critical mass level, crowd is a self-growing self-fuelling monster

200 years ago, the great French thinker Victor Hugo had said

"Nothing can stop an idea whose time has come"

It must have been said in context with the crowd behavior.

It can be safely presumed that 'nothing can stop a crowd whose trigger has been pulled'.

Traders seeking sense and logic in rallies are as misplaced

as is the science looking for logic in art!

Little wonder the "crowd" rallies are big

and inevitably followed by big correction.

.

.

.
(to be continued)

understanding crowd - II

As already mentioned (in part-I)

a crowd is not a crowd in psychology till it has certain characteristics.

In psychology,

Group + Influence = Crowd

So the important factor is

"Influence"

Who influences?

What influences?

Is it the politics?

economics?

A group of sheep never goes anywhere!

So, the influence on the group is rarely from inside.

It has to come from outside!

Political or Economical developments are definitely among the influences!

But these have small effects.

Sheep traders, who are majority in number but minority in value

don't move much immediately in the wake of any political or economical happening!

they just wait for secondary triggers - initial outcome of the original happenings.

so, who decides those secondary triggers?

who is behind those thick dark veils in the market ?

who actually influences the stock market crowd?

It is "the big money"

it constitutes FIIs, DIIs, Funds, Banks, and alike.

the big surplus money flow in the world comes in handy in such adventures!

These big pockets can kneel down an elephant what to talk of overbought RSI

and jack up the blue-whale what to talk of severely oversold SMA

They can bulldoze the logic

and create severe ripples of sentiments...

...

...

...

(to be continued)

understanding crowd - I

a crowd is not considered a crowd in psychology till

- it turns in a particular direction

- personality of individuals is lost in it

- it is driven by reasons but is not conscious about it

- logic goes to sleep and impulse takes the driver's seat

- intelligence goes on leave, wisdom is scared away

- there is overwhelming dominance by sentiments

---

so when caught in a crowd

just run

in its direction.

when out of a crowd

look for one!

And for heavens sake

never stand against it!!

---

And when does the crowd turn?

not so early

not so easily...

atleast never mistaken its slowing down as its reversal

look for typical symptoms of its reversal including its tiring out.

it falls, like every demon, only after a prolonged effort and gyrations!!!

The real horses in the race!

A horse came into the stable and went straight to his buddy horse!

"I am very angry with you!"

"Why, dear?"

"The Mayor in the party was telling his friend that he is going to bet on you in the Sunday race on the tip of your jockey! Your jockey is a dishonest man!"

"But the jockey is bluffing!"

"Why?"

"Because I never told him that I am gonna win on Sunday!"

"Why?"

"Because I don't know it myself! And even if I knew about my fate, i don't know the fate of you fellow friends who will race with me! And even if I knew that, I don't know human language and my jockey doesn't know mine!"

"Oh, I see! But then why is your jockey lying?"

"Well, he says the same thing - that I am going to win the next Sunday race - to every new customer every week! He knows that someday I will. Either that will happen by law of averages, or I will have to do it lest I be shot! The client, on the other hand, is always dying to believe some story just before the race, courtesy his warm pocket!"

"But doesn't your jockey lose face whenever you don't win?"

"Well, the jockey blames it all on me. And the client can't say anything to me as I never gave the tip to him that I am going to win!"

"Wao!!"

"And that is not all. All jockeys are saying the same things to their clients. No horse minds that. The horses are getting good stuff to eat, jockeys are getting paid, brokers are making money......."

"Poor clients! These fat betters have got the bucks and want to throw them. We just give them a nice joyous way! They are the real horses in the race whom the brokers are betting big on!"

"Cheers! Neigh......Neighhhh..........."

"Cheers! Neigh......Neigh.....Neighhhh..........."

Trading stocks in a Casino?

Day trading (or extremely short term trading) is less of trading and more of casino poker - the grand bluff game!

Various versions of poker are there but the general rule is to bet on the basis of cards you get. A player may get good cards or bad cards in the deal. He may continue to play or fold depending upon his mood, the cards he has got, the expressions and body language of his opponents or as part of a strategy.

If it were as simple as folding when you have bad cards and staying put if you have good cards, poker would be a dumb boring game. Fortunately, it is not! In reality, a good player with bad cards can play the bluff game well and win while a bad player with good cards can spoil the pot with his tactless expose' and win peanuts or even lose!

Everyone on the table is bluffing. So much so that for the onlookers, nobody seems to be bluffing. Bluff seems to be the reality! Sometimes even the tactless straight play is also a bluff!

Such poker play can be seen everywhere in the stock market everyday!

A stock which "should" go up generally goes down and stock which "should" go down generally goes up. Obvious thing never happens till it is not so obvious. The point is to bluff in a way that the big pockets trap the maximum possible numbers of small pockets. Had this been not so, there would be almost no money in short-term trading!

But ultimately even the big pockets know that they would be fools to drive a stock too much away from the fair value. Even the fair value is highly subjective and subject to perception manipulation, thus giving enough space for the poker play!

Day-traders or short-term traders who think they are trading are sadly mistaken. In effect, they are playing poker with trading rules and hence highly disadvantaged against those who are trading with poker rules.

So it is not important how well you can judge the oversold or overbought position of a stock or the market. What's really important is how well you can judge the poker bluff being played on the stock or the market.

If you are nimble professional you can go with the bluff otherwise you should wait till the bluff has gone too far and then bet for the collapse of the bluff.

However, if you are a medium to long term player no need to worry about the bluff. Bluff missiles don't have that much range. Contrary to the popular belief, it is easier to predict the market in the long term than in the very near future.

The Tip of an Iceberg!

Desperate unsuspecting traders are more than willing to tip over any tip that comes their way!

But often this tiny tip drowns them!

the reasons are not hard to find.

-------------------

The tippers never tell you that they themselves are trading on super high speed always-on lease line connections!

- that you may be in a highly disadvantageous position if you are trading by other slower means

-------------------

They never tell you that they always have auto Stop-loss bids in place in their dedicated terminals with powerful software!

- that you may not be able to trigger stop loss fast enough in case of a stampede and that there may be a huge gap between your order stop-loss price and the actual executed price!

-------------------

They never tell you that they are operating on penny brokerage plans and that their own cost of trading is peanuts and hence their net loss in case of a SL-hit is much lesser!

- that your brokerage plan may not make it easier for you to afford even a stop-loss!

-------------------

They never tell you that they have more than enough buffer funds to hold onto their losing positions if required

- that your risk may not be justified in the absence of adequate buffer funds and you may be on the road if your stop loss remains un-triggered!

-------------------

They never tell you that the client is expected to make money only IN THE LONG RUN as some losses are inevitable

- that you may be left behind if you stop trading after the loss and are expected to keep following the tips even when you lose!!!

-------------------

They never tell you how many more clients are receiving and acting on that call, and that such mass tip circulation is a favourite hunting environment for the big-pocket pick-pockets

-------------------

- that you may actually be volunteering to be a sitting lame duck for the hunters!

(This probably explains why I found majority of the calls going the wrong way after a mass tip in the media or from a big brokerage house!)

(Manipulations thru mass tipping is common these days where only the first few benefit!)

-------------------

They never tell you that their own actual exposure to that particular scrip or trade is much lesser as a part of their entire portfolio and hence a loss in this particular trade may not hurt them much overall.

-that you may be putting all your eggs in a single basket which doesn't even belong to you!

-------------------

They don't share the basis of the call and whether the tip is a copy paste from another source!

- that you may be tipping on a tip that has no or frivolous base!

(Putting your life into the hands of someone who is not even sure about his!)

------------

A tip is not just a simple innocent tip.

It is the tip of an Iceberg!

Myths & Facts about Hypnotism

Myth: A person is asleep during hypnosis.

Fact: A person is totally awake during hypnosis.

Proof: Just watch traders trade!

=====================

Myth: A person in a hypnotic state does not know what is going on around him/her.

Fact: A hypnotised person can hear everything. He/she is aware of the surroundings.

Proof: Just watch traders trade!

=====================

Myth: The hypnotist can make you do things you don’t want to do, like take clothes off etc.

Fact: This is incorrect. The hynotised person can reject any such suggestion.

Proof: (While the myth is definitely wrong, but I can't give a trader's example as a proof as they often forget the fact and endorse the myth, to their own peril!)

=====================

Myth: A person can get stuck in a hypnotic state.

Fact: No. A person cannot get stuck in hypnosis.

Proof: Every trader returns to his senses to realise his blunder!

=====================

Myth: The hypnotist hypnotizes people.

Fact: The person hypnotizes himself/herself. The hypnotist just guides the client through the process.

Proof: Just watch traders trade!

=====================

Myth: A person loses control of himself/herself when hypnotized.

Fact: Incorrect. A person has total control of himself/herself when hypnotized.

Proof: Just watch traders trade!

=====================

Myth: When you say "I’ve never been hypnotized."

Fact: Everyone experiences natural hypnosis, to some degree, every day.

Proof: Just watch traders trade!

=====================

Taking us all for a ride?

The market car was running non-stop since last 800 kms!

The tyres said

"We are tired, we should stop!"

The steering said

"I can't steer straight any more! Shouldn't we stop!"

The headlights said

"We can't see the road ahead clearly. Better we stop!"

The radiator said

"Its not cool anymore! Its getting overheated! We should stop!"

The clutch said

"I am sliping. I may fail, I warn you. We must stop!"

The gear box said

"I am tired. Desperately want to go neutral!"

The door said

"Pl stop! I want to open out!"

The stereo said

"Stop mind numbing loud music! Its getting on my nerves now!"

The seats said

"Why don't you take a breather! and let us breathe too !"

The brakes too wanted to stop but couldn't muster the courage!

But as the criticism of all parts of the car mounted

the brakes blamed the engine!

"Why don't you ask him to stop? He is the one dragging us!"

The engine was furious!

He, inturn, blamed the fuel !!

"Why don't you ask the fuel to stop pumping in? How can I stop till he doesn't?"

The fuel was listening to all this

He smiled and whispered

"Why don't you ask the banks to stop giving interest-free easy loans to my master who keeps my tank full and take us all for a ride!!!

Why overnight BTST works!

(This article is dedicated to my friend Rishant Verma who believed in overnight BTST so fanatically that I was forced to take it seriously and discover the magic! I was so amazed by the tactic that I decided to refine it to a higher level and thus got my holy grail at the darkest hour of my trading career!)

Why overnight BTST works?

* No-loss game!

= If you blindly buy a good stock or index in the last minute of the day's trade and sell it in the first trading minute the next day, you are assured that you will not have lost anything on monthly basis. Any 1 or 2 or 3 days negative run is assuredly cancelled by handsome gap-up runs sooner than later! Atleast 50-60% success rate is assured if you don't change the stock/index, if you don't quit after the negative day (if at all) and if you ONLY BUY (i.e.BTST and not STBT).

Once having got this assurance, all you need to do is find ways and means and tactics to increase this success percentage beyond 50 or 60%. It can go as high as 90% (or even more for some stretches!)

* Big market players can't trick you!

= since the markets are closed and you can't act or react, big players can't excite you to mistake! This is the number 1 benefit of overnight btst and immunity from the no.1 weakness of any trader!

* No problem of impatience

= When the market is open, the itch of "book whatever profit u r getting before it is gone" takes it toll on you! In overnight BTST this possibility simply doesn't exist as the markets are closed.

Either you win big or lose big! No peanuts.....the rewards of being right are assured to be big!

* You are assured of gap-up openings even during bear runs!

= Everyday is a "hopeful" day in overnight BTST. During bear runs, BTST supported by some technical indicator brings handsome results. During Bull runs, there is a windfall of profits.

* Markets generally fall during trading hours and rise at the opening!

= People need time to let their emotions and herd-mentality get into the trade and start throwing stocks!

* Buying is natural, selling is not!

= Overselling is promptly reversed, overbuying doesn't!

Bidding for Diana!

Mulla Nasruddin went to a mela.

He saw a crowd in a corner.

"50000 Dinars!"

"55000"

"65000 dinars!"

"66000!!!"

He was perplexed to hear the loud voices.

It didn't take his inquisitive mind long to figure out that traders were participating in an auction.

"70000 dinars!"

"72000"

"75000 dinars!"

"What is the auction for?" Mulla asked!

"I don't know exactly" replies an onlooker.

Mulla went to the person who was one of the traders putting the bids.

"What is the thing being auctioned?"

"Probably it has got something to do with a horse!" the trader replied.

"You are bidding and you don't even know that?" Mulla ridiculed the trader!

"Why should I bother? I came here to make money. I saw people bidding so competitively. I am sure it must be something precious they all are after!" the trader justified.

Another trader standing nearby heard the two's conversation and said

"I just came here. Somebody told me that the auction was related to the famous racing horse Diana! When I saw so many merchants so feverishly putting the bids I was sure that Diana must be precious!" replied the trader.

"Where is the Diana?" Mulla asked further.

"Don't know? Haven't seen!" the trader replied, visibly upset at the disturbing Mulla.

Mulla too wanted to bid for Diana.

He had a small bag full of gold coins he had won as prize from the sheikh in the previous town.

But he wanted to have a look at the Diana first.

He asked other traders but nobody had even a clue about Diana!

Then finally one trader said "Diana is probably hidden in that tent!"

Mulla saw a guarded tent at a distance.

He stealthily went to the rear of the tent and peeped inside.

He saw a goat inside!

A guard caught Mulla peeping inside.

"What are you doing here?" the guard asked.

"I am looking for Diana!" Mulla asked.

"Diana is not here!" the guard shot back.

"But the trader there said the auction was related to Diana-the racing horse!"

"Yeah! It is!" the guard nodded.

"But this is a goat!"

"This famous goat's milk is supplied by my master Sheikh Abdul for the consumption of Diana! My master hired the royal agents to auction the goat!"