"what is a stock market, papa!"
"it is a market for trading, son."
"trading what, papa!"
"trading of retail traders!"
Showing posts with label Tongue in cheek. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tongue in cheek. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
conspiracy!
after years
of
tears
sweat
and blood
just when
i had become
somewhat proficient
in trading
they are now saying
that the world is about to end
in dec 2012......
that is unfair
very unfair
a "universal" conspiracy!
of
tears
sweat
and blood
just when
i had become
somewhat proficient
in trading
they are now saying
that the world is about to end
in dec 2012......
that is unfair
very unfair
a "universal" conspiracy!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
a suitable boy!
the girl
picked up the newspaper
opened the matrimony page
and started searching
for "a suitable boy"
--
she stopped at one
and read
"wanted bride
for a handsome boy
age 27
5'10"
fair
M.A.
teetotaller
vegetarian
early simple marriage....."
--
she was not impressed.
she abandoned the ad midway
and was about to skip to the next one
when her eyes stumbled at the last line of that ad
"preparing for IAS"
this line changed the entire scenario
she talked to her parents
they fixed the marriage
and
the two tied the knot!
--
after 6 months
the boy failed at the IAS exam.
the girl divorced him!
--
after another 6 months
the girl decided to marry again.
she picked up the newspaper again
went to the matrimony page
and started searching
for mr.right!
--
her eyes stopped at the following ad
"wanted
divorcee bride
for a handsome boy
age 32
5'9"
wheatish complexion
M.Sc.
non-vegetarian
early marriage....."
the girl was again not impressed
dropped the ad midway
and was about to move to the next ad
when her eyes
noticed the last line
"opened a demat account
started stock trading"
she again talked to her parents
they arranged the marriage
and
both
"entered the holy trade"
--
within 3 months
the young "trader"
went bankrupt....
the girl divorced him!
--
(moral of the story =
you don't become a trader
just because you have started trading)
picked up the newspaper
opened the matrimony page
and started searching
for "a suitable boy"
--
she stopped at one
and read
"wanted bride
for a handsome boy
age 27
5'10"
fair
M.A.
teetotaller
vegetarian
early simple marriage....."
--
she was not impressed.
she abandoned the ad midway
and was about to skip to the next one
when her eyes stumbled at the last line of that ad
"preparing for IAS"
this line changed the entire scenario
she talked to her parents
they fixed the marriage
and
the two tied the knot!
--
after 6 months
the boy failed at the IAS exam.
the girl divorced him!
--
after another 6 months
the girl decided to marry again.
she picked up the newspaper again
went to the matrimony page
and started searching
for mr.right!
--
her eyes stopped at the following ad
"wanted
divorcee bride
for a handsome boy
age 32
5'9"
wheatish complexion
M.Sc.
non-vegetarian
early marriage....."
the girl was again not impressed
dropped the ad midway
and was about to move to the next ad
when her eyes
noticed the last line
"opened a demat account
started stock trading"
she again talked to her parents
they arranged the marriage
and
both
"entered the holy trade"
--
within 3 months
the young "trader"
went bankrupt....
the girl divorced him!
--
(moral of the story =
you don't become a trader
just because you have started trading)
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
engineers, doctors, traders!!!
6 years ago
i went to capital book shop
in sector 17 in chandigarh
looking for some good books
on trading.
i was directed to a section
which contained
the books related to stock trading.
i was a newbee in the market
and was looking for a lean crisp book
to help me learn trading.
and when i reached the section
i was shocked to see
the range of trading books on offering.
they had hundreds of
big, fat and intimidating books
on trading.
on one side of the trading section
was the engineering section for the upcoming engineers
and on the other side
was the medicine section for budding doctors.
the shocking thing was
the trading section
was as big
and it had as many monsterous books
than both other sections!
for once
i even decided to forget about learning trading.
after having completed engineering
i was left with little capacity
to sink more into books!
--
last week
i again went to the same book store
arguably one of the best in chandigarh
and found
that the section on trading
had swelled
and eaten
and claimed
the "real estate"
allocated to the engineering and medicine section!
almost half of the floor
was full of books and videos etc.
on trading!
the thought flashed my mind
"how much have these guys
complicated trading?
they made it more difficult
than engineering and medicine degree!
there are more
technical indicators
and patterns
and theories
and methods
and laws
and do's and don'ts
and lessons
and facts
and figures
and graphs
in trading
than are there in engineering
and medicine!
there are more courses
and seminars
and workshops
and refresher trainings
in trading
than are there
for existing doctors
and engineers!
great to be trader!
building trade bridges that collapse every other day!
treating mental trauma patients - we ourselves!
i went to capital book shop
in sector 17 in chandigarh
looking for some good books
on trading.
i was directed to a section
which contained
the books related to stock trading.
i was a newbee in the market
and was looking for a lean crisp book
to help me learn trading.
and when i reached the section
i was shocked to see
the range of trading books on offering.
they had hundreds of
big, fat and intimidating books
on trading.
on one side of the trading section
was the engineering section for the upcoming engineers
and on the other side
was the medicine section for budding doctors.
the shocking thing was
the trading section
was as big
and it had as many monsterous books
than both other sections!
for once
i even decided to forget about learning trading.
after having completed engineering
i was left with little capacity
to sink more into books!
--
last week
i again went to the same book store
arguably one of the best in chandigarh
and found
that the section on trading
had swelled
and eaten
and claimed
the "real estate"
allocated to the engineering and medicine section!
almost half of the floor
was full of books and videos etc.
on trading!
the thought flashed my mind
"how much have these guys
complicated trading?
they made it more difficult
than engineering and medicine degree!
there are more
technical indicators
and patterns
and theories
and methods
and laws
and do's and don'ts
and lessons
and facts
and figures
and graphs
in trading
than are there in engineering
and medicine!
there are more courses
and seminars
and workshops
and refresher trainings
in trading
than are there
for existing doctors
and engineers!
great to be trader!
building trade bridges that collapse every other day!
treating mental trauma patients - we ourselves!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
the big worry of a trader!
the entire family of a trader
was watching the movie
"2012"
together
on a sunday afternoon
on their 32 inch
new plasma tv!
--
by the end of the movie
the entire family
was
dead frightened!
the very fact
that the world would end
(as per the prediction of the maya calender)
on december 23, 2012
and the visuals of the likely disaster
in the movie,
had sucked the life out of the whole family!
--
everyone was
tense
and
speechless
TILL
the trader
uttered innocently
"if the world ends on 23rd december 2012
which is a sunday
what will happen to
the open positions
in the stock market
on monday!!!"
was watching the movie
"2012"
together
on a sunday afternoon
on their 32 inch
new plasma tv!
--
by the end of the movie
the entire family
was
dead frightened!
the very fact
that the world would end
(as per the prediction of the maya calender)
on december 23, 2012
and the visuals of the likely disaster
in the movie,
had sucked the life out of the whole family!
--
everyone was
tense
and
speechless
TILL
the trader
uttered innocently
"if the world ends on 23rd december 2012
which is a sunday
what will happen to
the open positions
in the stock market
on monday!!!"
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
trading - in the eyes of dictionary!
i checked up the dictionary
for the meaning of a 'trader'.
this is what i found
"a person who buys and sells
goods and services"
by this definition
everyone in the stock market
can claim to be a trader!
not only this
we can claim to be a successful trader
as long as we manage to successfully buy
and successfully sell shares!
--
nowhere did the definition mention
that one needed to be profitable
to be a successful trader!
--
i looked further and found
"trade on"
i checked for its meaning
"take advantage of"
it said!
that was better!
we must 'trade on' opportunities!
--
i looked still further
and found
"trade off"
i checked for the meaning
"exchange something as part of a compromise"
i realised that this is what majority of us do
-compromise!
--
so, in reality
we don't trade
we trade-off!
--
then
i decided to look for "profit"
i checked for the meaning
it said
"advantage"!
by this definition
we all are profitable!
because we are in a state of advantage
in majority of the trades
for majority of the time!
that we let the advantage slip-by
failing to book the profit,
is a different matter.
but the definition never mentioned
that encashing the advantage
was important to be profitable!
--
i was happy to note that we are in profit
for atleast 90% of the time
we are in the trade!
--
i checked further
and came across the word
"profiteering"
the dictionary gave the meaning as
"the making of a large profit
in an unfair way"
this reminded me
of the big pockets of the market!
surely, they are the ones profiteering!
but what do they call the big profits earned in a fair way?
i wanted to do that!
but the dictionary was silent on this!
--
anyhow
now i felt like
checking it up
for "loss" also.
--
the dictionary said
"the feeling of sadness after losing a valued thing"
....on reading this definition
the mountain of buried losses
deep inside me
erupted like a volcano!
--
i looked some further
and saw the phrase
"at a loss"
meaning
"uncertain or puzzled"
well, that's what we are
during trading hours...at a loss!!!
--
finally,
i looked up for
"experience".
it said
"knowledge or skill gained over time"
--
and i got ready for it!
for the meaning of a 'trader'.
this is what i found
"a person who buys and sells
goods and services"
by this definition
everyone in the stock market
can claim to be a trader!
not only this
we can claim to be a successful trader
as long as we manage to successfully buy
and successfully sell shares!
--
nowhere did the definition mention
that one needed to be profitable
to be a successful trader!
--
i looked further and found
"trade on"
i checked for its meaning
"take advantage of"
it said!
that was better!
we must 'trade on' opportunities!
--
i looked still further
and found
"trade off"
i checked for the meaning
"exchange something as part of a compromise"
i realised that this is what majority of us do
-compromise!
--
so, in reality
we don't trade
we trade-off!
--
then
i decided to look for "profit"
i checked for the meaning
it said
"advantage"!
by this definition
we all are profitable!
because we are in a state of advantage
in majority of the trades
for majority of the time!
that we let the advantage slip-by
failing to book the profit,
is a different matter.
but the definition never mentioned
that encashing the advantage
was important to be profitable!
--
i was happy to note that we are in profit
for atleast 90% of the time
we are in the trade!
--
i checked further
and came across the word
"profiteering"
the dictionary gave the meaning as
"the making of a large profit
in an unfair way"
this reminded me
of the big pockets of the market!
surely, they are the ones profiteering!
but what do they call the big profits earned in a fair way?
i wanted to do that!
but the dictionary was silent on this!
--
anyhow
now i felt like
checking it up
for "loss" also.
--
the dictionary said
"the feeling of sadness after losing a valued thing"
....on reading this definition
the mountain of buried losses
deep inside me
erupted like a volcano!
--
i looked some further
and saw the phrase
"at a loss"
meaning
"uncertain or puzzled"
well, that's what we are
during trading hours...at a loss!!!
--
finally,
i looked up for
"experience".
it said
"knowledge or skill gained over time"
--
and i got ready for it!
Monday, December 27, 2010
did you fall in trade?
how do we choose our life partner?
we fall in love with somebody
we decide to marry
and when parents come into picture
we start looking for reasons
find some good ones!
but the fact is
we are always decided much before
we start thinking!
(probably, that is the reason they call it
FALLING in love!)
--
just like the sales maxim
"customers decide emotionally and justify logically!"
--
similarly,
how do we invest or trade?
we like a stock or situation
we decide to marry (i.e.trade)
and when parents (i.e. logic, left brain) come into picture
we start looking for reasons
and indicators,
find some good ones!
but the fact is
we are always decided much before
we start thinking!
(probably, we should start calling it
FALLING in trade!)
we fall in love with somebody
we decide to marry
and when parents come into picture
we start looking for reasons
find some good ones!
but the fact is
we are always decided much before
we start thinking!
(probably, that is the reason they call it
FALLING in love!)
--
just like the sales maxim
"customers decide emotionally and justify logically!"
--
similarly,
how do we invest or trade?
we like a stock or situation
we decide to marry (i.e.trade)
and when parents (i.e. logic, left brain) come into picture
we start looking for reasons
and indicators,
find some good ones!
but the fact is
we are always decided much before
we start thinking!
(probably, we should start calling it
FALLING in trade!)
Friday, September 10, 2010
liars on the dalal street
"30% festival off!"
"upto 50% off!!!"
"50+30% discount"
"Buy 1, Get 1 free"
"Buy 2, Get 3 free"
"upto 90% off!"
These are some of the funniest and most amusing lines I see in the markets!
Everyone asks for discount before buying!
Every shop worth his trade ensures that he gives discount after some tantrums!
Before even that he ensures that he has changed 400 price label with 500!!
Abraham Lincoln was probably wrong when he said - "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time...."
Discount culture has been fooling all of the people all of the time!
Or, put it differently, all of the people have being deliberately yearning to be befooled all of the time.
In still other words, all of the people have been befooling themselves all of the time!
It is a mirage we all know but we all love to ignore!
Afterall, what does a 30% or 50% or 80% discount mean?
Why should anyone expect a discount and why should one give a discount?
Why not price it fairly?
A discount can mean one of the five things:-
1) Either you were being overcharged earlier, or
2) There is a problem with the product or service being sold now, or
3) They have jacked up the price before window dressing it with "discount" or
4) They are selling it now at a loss, or
5) It is a distress sale.
Distress sale doesn't happen everyday, everywhere and with every product or service!
Also, obviously, nobody sells at loss unless it is a distress sale!
So, the truth lies somewhere in the first 3 lines.
=======
The same logic applies to stock prices
1) Either it was earlier overpriced, or
2) There is some fundamental problem with the company or sector or economy, or
3) The "insider" brokers along with the "friendly" media create an impression of a "discount" after a jacked-up price!
=======
An aware trader or investor should be sharp to spot the reason and call the bluff!
Majority of the trades in the market are bluffs
Learn to know the real worth of a stock, catch every liar on the dalal street!
"upto 50% off!!!"
"50+30% discount"
"Buy 1, Get 1 free"
"Buy 2, Get 3 free"
"upto 90% off!"
These are some of the funniest and most amusing lines I see in the markets!
Everyone asks for discount before buying!
Every shop worth his trade ensures that he gives discount after some tantrums!
Before even that he ensures that he has changed 400 price label with 500!!
Abraham Lincoln was probably wrong when he said - "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time...."
Discount culture has been fooling all of the people all of the time!
Or, put it differently, all of the people have being deliberately yearning to be befooled all of the time.
In still other words, all of the people have been befooling themselves all of the time!
It is a mirage we all know but we all love to ignore!
Afterall, what does a 30% or 50% or 80% discount mean?
Why should anyone expect a discount and why should one give a discount?
Why not price it fairly?
A discount can mean one of the five things:-
1) Either you were being overcharged earlier, or
2) There is a problem with the product or service being sold now, or
3) They have jacked up the price before window dressing it with "discount" or
4) They are selling it now at a loss, or
5) It is a distress sale.
Distress sale doesn't happen everyday, everywhere and with every product or service!
Also, obviously, nobody sells at loss unless it is a distress sale!
So, the truth lies somewhere in the first 3 lines.
=======
The same logic applies to stock prices
1) Either it was earlier overpriced, or
2) There is some fundamental problem with the company or sector or economy, or
3) The "insider" brokers along with the "friendly" media create an impression of a "discount" after a jacked-up price!
=======
An aware trader or investor should be sharp to spot the reason and call the bluff!
Majority of the trades in the market are bluffs
Learn to know the real worth of a stock, catch every liar on the dalal street!
"This Technical Indicator is faulty!"
A trader went to super market and ordered for a technical indicator.
The shopkeeper took out a brand new one, wrapped it nicely and handed it over to the trader.
The trader happily took it home.
After one week the trader came back to the shop and angrily put the indicator on the table
"Here! I want to return this....It is faulty!", he complained!
"How, Sir!" the shopkeeper politely asked!
"First, it is not telling me what I want to hear! It always gives opinions counter to what I want it to! Even my pet is more loyal!!!" the trader started to register his complaints.
"Secondly, it gives half-hearted signals of profitable trade opportunities!"
"Let me get it checked, Sir!" the shopkeeper consoled him.
The shopkeeper asked his technician to have a look.
After half an hour the technician came back and handed over his report to the shopkeeper.
The report said
"The technical indicator is working fine. This insensitive trader expects the technical indicator to speak only what he wants to listen. He listens to the potentially profitable advice of the indicator half-heartedly and later complains that it was the indicator which gave the advice half-heartedly! This cruel trader keeps the indicator starving. Doesn't serve him even a glassfull of attention in an entire day! He listens to his wife and this poor indicator only when he is in trouble! When he is in profit he remains intoxicated in his brilliance for the entire day!"
The shopkeeper showed the report to the trader.
The trader got furious!
"Your technician is blatantly wrong!"
The shopkeeper calmed him down.
"OK! OK, Sir! I will replace this with a better one!"
He took the indicator to the store room and came back with another one.
"Here you have it, Sir! This one will work perfectly fine!"
"It will even lick your face when you profit."
"It is Alsatian Shepalute breed, the best!"
The shopkeeper took out a brand new one, wrapped it nicely and handed it over to the trader.
The trader happily took it home.
After one week the trader came back to the shop and angrily put the indicator on the table
"Here! I want to return this....It is faulty!", he complained!
"How, Sir!" the shopkeeper politely asked!
"First, it is not telling me what I want to hear! It always gives opinions counter to what I want it to! Even my pet is more loyal!!!" the trader started to register his complaints.
"Secondly, it gives half-hearted signals of profitable trade opportunities!"
"Let me get it checked, Sir!" the shopkeeper consoled him.
The shopkeeper asked his technician to have a look.
After half an hour the technician came back and handed over his report to the shopkeeper.
The report said
"The technical indicator is working fine. This insensitive trader expects the technical indicator to speak only what he wants to listen. He listens to the potentially profitable advice of the indicator half-heartedly and later complains that it was the indicator which gave the advice half-heartedly! This cruel trader keeps the indicator starving. Doesn't serve him even a glassfull of attention in an entire day! He listens to his wife and this poor indicator only when he is in trouble! When he is in profit he remains intoxicated in his brilliance for the entire day!"
The shopkeeper showed the report to the trader.
The trader got furious!
"Your technician is blatantly wrong!"
The shopkeeper calmed him down.
"OK! OK, Sir! I will replace this with a better one!"
He took the indicator to the store room and came back with another one.
"Here you have it, Sir! This one will work perfectly fine!"
"It will even lick your face when you profit."
"It is Alsatian Shepalute breed, the best!"
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Exit to Hell
Amateur Traders spend too much of time considering entry into the trade
whereas majority of trader casualties are at the
....Exit!
Thrown out of the flight too early!
or
Mauled at the door in the stampede!
Enterances never kill (rather they are designed to lure in the max croud)
All traps are at the exit.
whereas majority of trader casualties are at the
....Exit!
Thrown out of the flight too early!
or
Mauled at the door in the stampede!
Enterances never kill (rather they are designed to lure in the max croud)
All traps are at the exit.
Grass on the other side
Amateur Traders behave like Investors
Amateur Investors behave like Traders
Is it because the grass on the other side appears greener?
or
Is it because of the bug bite in the grass on this side?
Amateur Investors behave like Traders
Is it because the grass on the other side appears greener?
or
Is it because of the bug bite in the grass on this side?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)