sell sorrow on every rise! 
buy laughter on every dip!!
Showing posts with label in lighter vein. Show all posts
Showing posts with label in lighter vein. Show all posts
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
stock market
"what is a stock market, papa!"
"it is a market for trading, son."
"trading what, papa!"
"trading of retail traders!"
"it is a market for trading, son."
"trading what, papa!"
"trading of retail traders!"
conspiracy!
after years
of
tears
sweat
and blood
just when
i had become
somewhat proficient
in trading
they are now saying
that the world is about to end
in dec 2012......
that is unfair
very unfair
a "universal" conspiracy!
of
tears
sweat
and blood
just when
i had become
somewhat proficient
in trading
they are now saying
that the world is about to end
in dec 2012......
that is unfair
very unfair
a "universal" conspiracy!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
a suitable boy!
the girl
picked up the newspaper
opened the matrimony page
and started searching
for "a suitable boy"
--
she stopped at one
and read
"wanted bride
for a handsome boy
age 27
5'10"
fair
M.A.
teetotaller
vegetarian
early simple marriage....."
--
she was not impressed.
she abandoned the ad midway
and was about to skip to the next one
when her eyes stumbled at the last line of that ad
"preparing for IAS"
this line changed the entire scenario
she talked to her parents
they fixed the marriage
and
the two tied the knot!
--
after 6 months
the boy failed at the IAS exam.
the girl divorced him!
--
after another 6 months
the girl decided to marry again.
she picked up the newspaper again
went to the matrimony page
and started searching
for mr.right!
--
her eyes stopped at the following ad
"wanted
divorcee bride
for a handsome boy
age 32
5'9"
wheatish complexion
M.Sc.
non-vegetarian
early marriage....."
the girl was again not impressed
dropped the ad midway
and was about to move to the next ad
when her eyes
noticed the last line
"opened a demat account
started stock trading"
she again talked to her parents
they arranged the marriage
and
both
"entered the holy trade"
--
within 3 months
the young "trader"
went bankrupt....
the girl divorced him!
--
(moral of the story =
you don't become a trader
just because you have started trading)
picked up the newspaper
opened the matrimony page
and started searching
for "a suitable boy"
--
she stopped at one
and read
"wanted bride
for a handsome boy
age 27
5'10"
fair
M.A.
teetotaller
vegetarian
early simple marriage....."
--
she was not impressed.
she abandoned the ad midway
and was about to skip to the next one
when her eyes stumbled at the last line of that ad
"preparing for IAS"
this line changed the entire scenario
she talked to her parents
they fixed the marriage
and
the two tied the knot!
--
after 6 months
the boy failed at the IAS exam.
the girl divorced him!
--
after another 6 months
the girl decided to marry again.
she picked up the newspaper again
went to the matrimony page
and started searching
for mr.right!
--
her eyes stopped at the following ad
"wanted
divorcee bride
for a handsome boy
age 32
5'9"
wheatish complexion
M.Sc.
non-vegetarian
early marriage....."
the girl was again not impressed
dropped the ad midway
and was about to move to the next ad
when her eyes
noticed the last line
"opened a demat account
started stock trading"
she again talked to her parents
they arranged the marriage
and
both
"entered the holy trade"
--
within 3 months
the young "trader"
went bankrupt....
the girl divorced him!
--
(moral of the story =
you don't become a trader
just because you have started trading)
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
the big worry of a trader!
the entire family of a trader
was watching the movie
"2012"
together
on a sunday afternoon
on their 32 inch
new plasma tv!
--
by the end of the movie
the entire family
was
dead frightened!
the very fact
that the world would end
(as per the prediction of the maya calender)
on december 23, 2012
and the visuals of the likely disaster
in the movie,
had sucked the life out of the whole family!
--
everyone was
tense
and
speechless
TILL
the trader
uttered innocently
"if the world ends on 23rd december 2012
which is a sunday
what will happen to
the open positions
in the stock market
on monday!!!"
was watching the movie
"2012"
together
on a sunday afternoon
on their 32 inch
new plasma tv!
--
by the end of the movie
the entire family
was
dead frightened!
the very fact
that the world would end
(as per the prediction of the maya calender)
on december 23, 2012
and the visuals of the likely disaster
in the movie,
had sucked the life out of the whole family!
--
everyone was
tense
and
speechless
TILL
the trader
uttered innocently
"if the world ends on 23rd december 2012
which is a sunday
what will happen to
the open positions
in the stock market
on monday!!!"
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
trading - in the eyes of dictionary!
i checked up the dictionary
for the meaning of a 'trader'.
this is what i found
"a person who buys and sells
goods and services"
by this definition
everyone in the stock market
can claim to be a trader!
not only this
we can claim to be a successful trader
as long as we manage to successfully buy
and successfully sell shares!
--
nowhere did the definition mention
that one needed to be profitable
to be a successful trader!
--
i looked further and found
"trade on"
i checked for its meaning
"take advantage of"
it said!
that was better!
we must 'trade on' opportunities!
--
i looked still further
and found
"trade off"
i checked for the meaning
"exchange something as part of a compromise"
i realised that this is what majority of us do
-compromise!
--
so, in reality
we don't trade
we trade-off!
--
then
i decided to look for "profit"
i checked for the meaning
it said
"advantage"!
by this definition
we all are profitable!
because we are in a state of advantage
in majority of the trades
for majority of the time!
that we let the advantage slip-by
failing to book the profit,
is a different matter.
but the definition never mentioned
that encashing the advantage
was important to be profitable!
--
i was happy to note that we are in profit
for atleast 90% of the time
we are in the trade!
--
i checked further
and came across the word
"profiteering"
the dictionary gave the meaning as
"the making of a large profit
in an unfair way"
this reminded me
of the big pockets of the market!
surely, they are the ones profiteering!
but what do they call the big profits earned in a fair way?
i wanted to do that!
but the dictionary was silent on this!
--
anyhow
now i felt like
checking it up
for "loss" also.
--
the dictionary said
"the feeling of sadness after losing a valued thing"
....on reading this definition
the mountain of buried losses
deep inside me
erupted like a volcano!
--
i looked some further
and saw the phrase
"at a loss"
meaning
"uncertain or puzzled"
well, that's what we are
during trading hours...at a loss!!!
--
finally,
i looked up for
"experience".
it said
"knowledge or skill gained over time"
--
and i got ready for it!
for the meaning of a 'trader'.
this is what i found
"a person who buys and sells
goods and services"
by this definition
everyone in the stock market
can claim to be a trader!
not only this
we can claim to be a successful trader
as long as we manage to successfully buy
and successfully sell shares!
--
nowhere did the definition mention
that one needed to be profitable
to be a successful trader!
--
i looked further and found
"trade on"
i checked for its meaning
"take advantage of"
it said!
that was better!
we must 'trade on' opportunities!
--
i looked still further
and found
"trade off"
i checked for the meaning
"exchange something as part of a compromise"
i realised that this is what majority of us do
-compromise!
--
so, in reality
we don't trade
we trade-off!
--
then
i decided to look for "profit"
i checked for the meaning
it said
"advantage"!
by this definition
we all are profitable!
because we are in a state of advantage
in majority of the trades
for majority of the time!
that we let the advantage slip-by
failing to book the profit,
is a different matter.
but the definition never mentioned
that encashing the advantage
was important to be profitable!
--
i was happy to note that we are in profit
for atleast 90% of the time
we are in the trade!
--
i checked further
and came across the word
"profiteering"
the dictionary gave the meaning as
"the making of a large profit
in an unfair way"
this reminded me
of the big pockets of the market!
surely, they are the ones profiteering!
but what do they call the big profits earned in a fair way?
i wanted to do that!
but the dictionary was silent on this!
--
anyhow
now i felt like
checking it up
for "loss" also.
--
the dictionary said
"the feeling of sadness after losing a valued thing"
....on reading this definition
the mountain of buried losses
deep inside me
erupted like a volcano!
--
i looked some further
and saw the phrase
"at a loss"
meaning
"uncertain or puzzled"
well, that's what we are
during trading hours...at a loss!!!
--
finally,
i looked up for
"experience".
it said
"knowledge or skill gained over time"
--
and i got ready for it!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
he or she?
i don't like addressing the stock market as
"it"
the reason is simple
i don't think stock market is a non-living thing!
afterall, we use "it" only for non-living things.
--
so,
considering the market as alive
and kicking (literally)
should i address it as
"he" or "she"?
--
big dilemma!
--
fortunately
i have to my rescue
john gray's masterpiece
"men are from mars, women are from venus"
in it
john gray has presented
many starking different characteristics of
men and women!
--
at one place he says
that women are like waves!
just like waves, they go thru ups and downs of moods.
when you see one
with upset mood
without any apparent cause
don't try to see reason or logic into it!
similarly,
if you find your wife
in a superb mood
but can't figure out
any sensible reason to be ecstatic
don't scratch your head!
it is all natural
and ok
and fine!
nothing abnormal about it!
--
i find this description
perfectly matching that of the market!
they, too, move in waves!
they go up and down
defying fundamental limits!
many times
their mood fluctuations
are beyond logic!
at times
they are plain bizarre!!!
--
so i have got my answer!
stock markets are feminine
and hence should be addressed as"she"
--
but that leads me to the second
and logical counter-question
"if market is a she
who's he?"
--
well,
for the answer to this one
i once again have to take john gray's help!
in his mega-hit book
he goes on to say
that men are like rubber bands!
being human
they too are subject to fluctuations in the mood
but unlike women
they don't display waves of moods.
instead,
whenever they are hit by "mood"
they simply withdraw from the scene
till they get "normal"
and then
like "rubber bands"
come springing back
equally forcefully
as when they had retreated!
nobody knows
why they went away
and why they have come back!!!
--
i see these traits
similar to the traits of a trader!
when hit by the unpredictable and unfathomable
mood fluctuations of "she" market,
the traders just withdraw from the market!
they don't share anything with anyone!
they just pack-up
pick-up
and leave from "the pit"!
strangely
just like "men" and "rubberbands"
they come back once they have drowned their sorrow
or evaporated their profits!!!
--
so, the traders are the "he"
in this story.
and
it doesn't matter
whether the trader is a man or a woman!
--
and ultimately
"she" always has the last word!
"it"
the reason is simple
i don't think stock market is a non-living thing!
afterall, we use "it" only for non-living things.
--
so,
considering the market as alive
and kicking (literally)
should i address it as
"he" or "she"?
--
big dilemma!
--
fortunately
i have to my rescue
john gray's masterpiece
"men are from mars, women are from venus"
in it
john gray has presented
many starking different characteristics of
men and women!
--
at one place he says
that women are like waves!
just like waves, they go thru ups and downs of moods.
when you see one
with upset mood
without any apparent cause
don't try to see reason or logic into it!
similarly,
if you find your wife
in a superb mood
but can't figure out
any sensible reason to be ecstatic
don't scratch your head!
it is all natural
and ok
and fine!
nothing abnormal about it!
--
i find this description
perfectly matching that of the market!
they, too, move in waves!
they go up and down
defying fundamental limits!
many times
their mood fluctuations
are beyond logic!
at times
they are plain bizarre!!!
--
so i have got my answer!
stock markets are feminine
and hence should be addressed as"she"
--
but that leads me to the second
and logical counter-question
"if market is a she
who's he?"
--
well,
for the answer to this one
i once again have to take john gray's help!
in his mega-hit book
he goes on to say
that men are like rubber bands!
being human
they too are subject to fluctuations in the mood
but unlike women
they don't display waves of moods.
instead,
whenever they are hit by "mood"
they simply withdraw from the scene
till they get "normal"
and then
like "rubber bands"
come springing back
equally forcefully
as when they had retreated!
nobody knows
why they went away
and why they have come back!!!
--
i see these traits
similar to the traits of a trader!
when hit by the unpredictable and unfathomable
mood fluctuations of "she" market,
the traders just withdraw from the market!
they don't share anything with anyone!
they just pack-up
pick-up
and leave from "the pit"!
strangely
just like "men" and "rubberbands"
they come back once they have drowned their sorrow
or evaporated their profits!!!
--
so, the traders are the "he"
in this story.
and
it doesn't matter
whether the trader is a man or a woman!
--
and ultimately
"she" always has the last word!
Monday, December 27, 2010
did you fall in trade?
how do we choose our life partner?
we fall in love with somebody
we decide to marry
and when parents come into picture
we start looking for reasons
find some good ones!
but the fact is
we are always decided much before
we start thinking!
(probably, that is the reason they call it
FALLING in love!)
--
just like the sales maxim
"customers decide emotionally and justify logically!"
--
similarly,
how do we invest or trade?
we like a stock or situation
we decide to marry (i.e.trade)
and when parents (i.e. logic, left brain) come into picture
we start looking for reasons
and indicators,
find some good ones!
but the fact is
we are always decided much before
we start thinking!
(probably, we should start calling it
FALLING in trade!)
we fall in love with somebody
we decide to marry
and when parents come into picture
we start looking for reasons
find some good ones!
but the fact is
we are always decided much before
we start thinking!
(probably, that is the reason they call it
FALLING in love!)
--
just like the sales maxim
"customers decide emotionally and justify logically!"
--
similarly,
how do we invest or trade?
we like a stock or situation
we decide to marry (i.e.trade)
and when parents (i.e. logic, left brain) come into picture
we start looking for reasons
and indicators,
find some good ones!
but the fact is
we are always decided much before
we start thinking!
(probably, we should start calling it
FALLING in trade!)
Saturday, December 11, 2010
trading decisions!
5 frogs were sitting on a log of wood
3 out of them decided to jump
how many are left behind?
"2" replied the student.
"wrong! all 5 are still sitting there" the teacher shot back!
"there is a difference between making a decision and acting on the decision!" he explained!
---
the story got etched in the student's mind.
days passed
and then years....
the student became teacher
in 'School of Stock Trading'!
---
"let me tell you a story" he announced in the class
"5 frogs were sitting on a log of wood
all 5 jumped off it!
how many had decided to jump?"
students got really confused.
they had heard about the famous story where the teacher asks how many are left behind!
but this story was strange!
when nobody answered
the teacher declared
"none"
"all 5 jumped in panic without thinking"
"they were all amateur stock traders!"
3 out of them decided to jump
how many are left behind?
"2" replied the student.
"wrong! all 5 are still sitting there" the teacher shot back!
"there is a difference between making a decision and acting on the decision!" he explained!
---
the story got etched in the student's mind.
days passed
and then years....
the student became teacher
in 'School of Stock Trading'!
---
"let me tell you a story" he announced in the class
"5 frogs were sitting on a log of wood
all 5 jumped off it!
how many had decided to jump?"
students got really confused.
they had heard about the famous story where the teacher asks how many are left behind!
but this story was strange!
when nobody answered
the teacher declared
"none"
"all 5 jumped in panic without thinking"
"they were all amateur stock traders!"
Sunday, November 14, 2010
"Who runs the World?"
Heard aloud
outside Airforce One
at 2300hrs GMT
10000 ft. above ground
while crossing the Atlantic
in pitch dark
"Who runs the World?
- God or America?"
after 70 seconds of pin drop silence
came the reply
"Americaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......!"
One hour passed....
before the volcano erupted again
"Whooooooooo runs Americaaaaaaaaa?
- God or Me?"
again 100 seconds passed
before the reply
"Meeeeeeeeeeeee...............!!"
One hour passed again.....
before a somber voice whispered
"How do I do it?"
this time there was silence for full 600 seconds
before the shriekkkkkk...
"I don't knowwwwwwww...................!!!"
"It is the trend boys! The trend is our friend!"
"And who will change the trend - God or Me?"
and then there was a deafening silence till the dawn
when came the reply
"Godddddddddddddddddd...............!"
"Amen!"
outside Airforce One
at 2300hrs GMT
10000 ft. above ground
while crossing the Atlantic
in pitch dark
"Who runs the World?
- God or America?"
after 70 seconds of pin drop silence
came the reply
"Americaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......!"
One hour passed....
before the volcano erupted again
"Whooooooooo runs Americaaaaaaaaa?
- God or Me?"
again 100 seconds passed
before the reply
"Meeeeeeeeeeeee...............!!"
One hour passed again.....
before a somber voice whispered
"How do I do it?"
this time there was silence for full 600 seconds
before the shriekkkkkk...
"I don't knowwwwwwww...................!!!"
"It is the trend boys! The trend is our friend!"
"And who will change the trend - God or Me?"
and then there was a deafening silence till the dawn
when came the reply
"Godddddddddddddddddd...............!"
"Amen!"
The real horses in the race!
A horse came into the stable and went straight to his buddy horse!
"I am very angry with you!"
"Why, dear?"
"The Mayor in the party was telling his friend that he is going to bet on you in the Sunday race on the tip of your jockey! Your jockey is a dishonest man!"
"But the jockey is bluffing!"
"Why?"
"Because I never told him that I am gonna win on Sunday!"
"Why?"
"Because I don't know it myself! And even if I knew about my fate, i don't know the fate of you fellow friends who will race with me! And even if I knew that, I don't know human language and my jockey doesn't know mine!"
"Oh, I see! But then why is your jockey lying?"
"Well, he says the same thing - that I am going to win the next Sunday race - to every new customer every week! He knows that someday I will. Either that will happen by law of averages, or I will have to do it lest I be shot! The client, on the other hand, is always dying to believe some story just before the race, courtesy his warm pocket!"
"But doesn't your jockey lose face whenever you don't win?"
"Well, the jockey blames it all on me. And the client can't say anything to me as I never gave the tip to him that I am going to win!"
"Wao!!"
"And that is not all. All jockeys are saying the same things to their clients. No horse minds that. The horses are getting good stuff to eat, jockeys are getting paid, brokers are making money......."
"Poor clients! These fat betters have got the bucks and want to throw them. We just give them a nice joyous way! They are the real horses in the race whom the brokers are betting big on!"
"Cheers! Neigh......Neighhhh..........."
"Cheers! Neigh......Neigh.....Neighhhh..........."
"I am very angry with you!"
"Why, dear?"
"The Mayor in the party was telling his friend that he is going to bet on you in the Sunday race on the tip of your jockey! Your jockey is a dishonest man!"
"But the jockey is bluffing!"
"Why?"
"Because I never told him that I am gonna win on Sunday!"
"Why?"
"Because I don't know it myself! And even if I knew about my fate, i don't know the fate of you fellow friends who will race with me! And even if I knew that, I don't know human language and my jockey doesn't know mine!"
"Oh, I see! But then why is your jockey lying?"
"Well, he says the same thing - that I am going to win the next Sunday race - to every new customer every week! He knows that someday I will. Either that will happen by law of averages, or I will have to do it lest I be shot! The client, on the other hand, is always dying to believe some story just before the race, courtesy his warm pocket!"
"But doesn't your jockey lose face whenever you don't win?"
"Well, the jockey blames it all on me. And the client can't say anything to me as I never gave the tip to him that I am going to win!"
"Wao!!"
"And that is not all. All jockeys are saying the same things to their clients. No horse minds that. The horses are getting good stuff to eat, jockeys are getting paid, brokers are making money......."
"Poor clients! These fat betters have got the bucks and want to throw them. We just give them a nice joyous way! They are the real horses in the race whom the brokers are betting big on!"
"Cheers! Neigh......Neighhhh..........."
"Cheers! Neigh......Neigh.....Neighhhh..........."
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Midnight sleep-blabber of a stressed trader - II
I am the most powerful trader in the world!!!
Yes, it's MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...........
It's MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..............
Last week I single handedly prevented Hero Honda from falling!
I single handedly prevented Bharti Airtel from collapsing too!
Last month I didn't allow Reliance Industries from rising!
Last Friday they couldn't lift the HDFC Bank just because of me!
I had the power to halt the fall of SAIL today!
So many times I helped lacs of co-traders mint money buy saving their stocks from adverse price movement!
How?
When I shorted Hero Honda, it stopped sliding!
When I shorted Bharti Airtel, it stopped falling!
When I bought Reliance Industries, it stopped rising!
I longed in HDFC Bank and it lost the steam!
I shorted SAIL and even the steel refused to sink!
I have the P O W E RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..................
Eureka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
----------------
.
For Midnight sleep blabber of a stressed trader - I
go to
http://thebestbusinessintheworld.blogspot.com/2010/07/midnight-sleep-blabber-of-stressed.html
Yes, it's MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...........
It's MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..............
Last week I single handedly prevented Hero Honda from falling!
I single handedly prevented Bharti Airtel from collapsing too!
Last month I didn't allow Reliance Industries from rising!
Last Friday they couldn't lift the HDFC Bank just because of me!
I had the power to halt the fall of SAIL today!
So many times I helped lacs of co-traders mint money buy saving their stocks from adverse price movement!
How?
When I shorted Hero Honda, it stopped sliding!
When I shorted Bharti Airtel, it stopped falling!
When I bought Reliance Industries, it stopped rising!
I longed in HDFC Bank and it lost the steam!
I shorted SAIL and even the steel refused to sink!
I have the P O W E RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..................
Eureka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
----------------
.
For Midnight sleep blabber of a stressed trader - I
go to
http://thebestbusinessintheworld.blogspot.com/2010/07/midnight-sleep-blabber-of-stressed.html
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Taking us all for a ride?
The market car was running non-stop since last 800 kms!
The tyres said
"We are tired, we should stop!"
The steering said
"I can't steer straight any more! Shouldn't we stop!"
The headlights said
"We can't see the road ahead clearly. Better we stop!"
The radiator said
"Its not cool anymore! Its getting overheated! We should stop!"
The clutch said
"I am sliping. I may fail, I warn you. We must stop!"
The gear box said
"I am tired. Desperately want to go neutral!"
The door said
"Pl stop! I want to open out!"
The stereo said
"Stop mind numbing loud music! Its getting on my nerves now!"
The seats said
"Why don't you take a breather! and let us breathe too !"
The brakes too wanted to stop but couldn't muster the courage!
But as the criticism of all parts of the car mounted
the brakes blamed the engine!
"Why don't you ask him to stop? He is the one dragging us!"
The engine was furious!
He, inturn, blamed the fuel !!
"Why don't you ask the fuel to stop pumping in? How can I stop till he doesn't?"
The fuel was listening to all this
He smiled and whispered
"Why don't you ask the banks to stop giving interest-free easy loans to my master who keeps my tank full and take us all for a ride!!!
The tyres said
"We are tired, we should stop!"
The steering said
"I can't steer straight any more! Shouldn't we stop!"
The headlights said
"We can't see the road ahead clearly. Better we stop!"
The radiator said
"Its not cool anymore! Its getting overheated! We should stop!"
The clutch said
"I am sliping. I may fail, I warn you. We must stop!"
The gear box said
"I am tired. Desperately want to go neutral!"
The door said
"Pl stop! I want to open out!"
The stereo said
"Stop mind numbing loud music! Its getting on my nerves now!"
The seats said
"Why don't you take a breather! and let us breathe too !"
The brakes too wanted to stop but couldn't muster the courage!
But as the criticism of all parts of the car mounted
the brakes blamed the engine!
"Why don't you ask him to stop? He is the one dragging us!"
The engine was furious!
He, inturn, blamed the fuel !!
"Why don't you ask the fuel to stop pumping in? How can I stop till he doesn't?"
The fuel was listening to all this
He smiled and whispered
"Why don't you ask the banks to stop giving interest-free easy loans to my master who keeps my tank full and take us all for a ride!!!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Bidding for Diana!
Mulla Nasruddin went to a mela.
He saw a crowd in a corner.
"50000 Dinars!"
"55000"
"65000 dinars!"
"66000!!!"
He was perplexed to hear the loud voices.
It didn't take his inquisitive mind long to figure out that traders were participating in an auction.
"70000 dinars!"
"72000"
"75000 dinars!"
"What is the auction for?" Mulla asked!
"I don't know exactly" replies an onlooker.
Mulla went to the person who was one of the traders putting the bids.
"What is the thing being auctioned?"
"Probably it has got something to do with a horse!" the trader replied.
"You are bidding and you don't even know that?" Mulla ridiculed the trader!
"Why should I bother? I came here to make money. I saw people bidding so competitively. I am sure it must be something precious they all are after!" the trader justified.
Another trader standing nearby heard the two's conversation and said
"I just came here. Somebody told me that the auction was related to the famous racing horse Diana! When I saw so many merchants so feverishly putting the bids I was sure that Diana must be precious!" replied the trader.
"Where is the Diana?" Mulla asked further.
"Don't know? Haven't seen!" the trader replied, visibly upset at the disturbing Mulla.
Mulla too wanted to bid for Diana.
He had a small bag full of gold coins he had won as prize from the sheikh in the previous town.
But he wanted to have a look at the Diana first.
He asked other traders but nobody had even a clue about Diana!
Then finally one trader said "Diana is probably hidden in that tent!"
Mulla saw a guarded tent at a distance.
He stealthily went to the rear of the tent and peeped inside.
He saw a goat inside!
A guard caught Mulla peeping inside.
"What are you doing here?" the guard asked.
"I am looking for Diana!" Mulla asked.
"Diana is not here!" the guard shot back.
"But the trader there said the auction was related to Diana-the racing horse!"
"Yeah! It is!" the guard nodded.
"But this is a goat!"
"This famous goat's milk is supplied by my master Sheikh Abdul for the consumption of Diana! My master hired the royal agents to auction the goat!"
He saw a crowd in a corner.
"50000 Dinars!"
"55000"
"65000 dinars!"
"66000!!!"
He was perplexed to hear the loud voices.
It didn't take his inquisitive mind long to figure out that traders were participating in an auction.
"70000 dinars!"
"72000"
"75000 dinars!"
"What is the auction for?" Mulla asked!
"I don't know exactly" replies an onlooker.
Mulla went to the person who was one of the traders putting the bids.
"What is the thing being auctioned?"
"Probably it has got something to do with a horse!" the trader replied.
"You are bidding and you don't even know that?" Mulla ridiculed the trader!
"Why should I bother? I came here to make money. I saw people bidding so competitively. I am sure it must be something precious they all are after!" the trader justified.
Another trader standing nearby heard the two's conversation and said
"I just came here. Somebody told me that the auction was related to the famous racing horse Diana! When I saw so many merchants so feverishly putting the bids I was sure that Diana must be precious!" replied the trader.
"Where is the Diana?" Mulla asked further.
"Don't know? Haven't seen!" the trader replied, visibly upset at the disturbing Mulla.
Mulla too wanted to bid for Diana.
He had a small bag full of gold coins he had won as prize from the sheikh in the previous town.
But he wanted to have a look at the Diana first.
He asked other traders but nobody had even a clue about Diana!
Then finally one trader said "Diana is probably hidden in that tent!"
Mulla saw a guarded tent at a distance.
He stealthily went to the rear of the tent and peeped inside.
He saw a goat inside!
A guard caught Mulla peeping inside.
"What are you doing here?" the guard asked.
"I am looking for Diana!" Mulla asked.
"Diana is not here!" the guard shot back.
"But the trader there said the auction was related to Diana-the racing horse!"
"Yeah! It is!" the guard nodded.
"But this is a goat!"
"This famous goat's milk is supplied by my master Sheikh Abdul for the consumption of Diana! My master hired the royal agents to auction the goat!"
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Road to Heaven!
A trader was chatting with God.
"God! I want to go to Heaven, please show me the way!" he typed and entered.
"Can you bear Hell?" God typed back.
"Why, God! I want to know the road to heaven, not hell!"
"...because the road to Heaven, my dear child, goes thru hell!"
"But why is it important to be a able to bear the hell?"
"...because if you can't bear it, you will deboard the tram right in the hell and sent back on foot. You will never reach the heaven!"
"and what if I can't or don't want to bear the hell?"
"then, my child, the place you are presently in is not that bad either, is it?"
"but why did u got the road to heaven built thru hell?"
"so that u know the difference, my child and not make hell out of heaven when u reach there!"
"God! I want to go to Heaven, please show me the way!" he typed and entered.
"Can you bear Hell?" God typed back.
"Why, God! I want to know the road to heaven, not hell!"
"...because the road to Heaven, my dear child, goes thru hell!"
"But why is it important to be a able to bear the hell?"
"...because if you can't bear it, you will deboard the tram right in the hell and sent back on foot. You will never reach the heaven!"
"and what if I can't or don't want to bear the hell?"
"then, my child, the place you are presently in is not that bad either, is it?"
"but why did u got the road to heaven built thru hell?"
"so that u know the difference, my child and not make hell out of heaven when u reach there!"
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
16 types of knives for a trader
Boning Knife -
4-5 inch blade.
for separating meat from the bone
----------------
Bread Knife -
9 inch blade
to cut bread without squashing the loaf.
----------------
Chef's Knife -
4-12 inch blade
for chopping and dicing
----------------
Cleaver -
6 inch blade
to chop through the bones
----------------
Fish Filet -
7 inch blade
to fillet fish.
----------------
Fork knife -
8 inch blade
a carving knife's assistant, used to hold meat in place while slicing
----------------
Ham Slicer -
10 inch bladet
for slicing through the unique texture of ham.
----------------
Oriental Cleaver -
7 inch blade knife
a fine chopper and dicer of vegetables, herbs, meats and fruits
----------------
Paring Knife -
3½-4 inch blade.
preferred for hand-held tasks, providing utmost control
----------------
Birds Beak Knife -
type of a paring knife
for peeling small round fruits and vegetables.
----------------
Salmon Slicer -
12 inch blade knife
for slicing smoked salmon.
----------------
Slicer/Carver -
8-10 inch blade
for carving paper-thin slices of meats, fruits and vegetables
----------------
Steak Knife -
5 inch blade
cuts through thick steaks and chops
----------------
Tomato/Bagel Knife -
5 inch blade
for cutting something that's soft on the inside and tough on the outside
----------------
Utility Knife -
6 inch blade
a cross between a paring and chef's knife
an all-purpose knife
----------------
Stop-loss
0.25% blade
for cutting loss when used
for cutting bank balance when not used
4-5 inch blade.
for separating meat from the bone
----------------
Bread Knife -
9 inch blade
to cut bread without squashing the loaf.
----------------
Chef's Knife -
4-12 inch blade
for chopping and dicing
----------------
Cleaver -
6 inch blade
to chop through the bones
----------------
Fish Filet -
7 inch blade
to fillet fish.
----------------
Fork knife -
8 inch blade
a carving knife's assistant, used to hold meat in place while slicing
----------------
Ham Slicer -
10 inch bladet
for slicing through the unique texture of ham.
----------------
Oriental Cleaver -
7 inch blade knife
a fine chopper and dicer of vegetables, herbs, meats and fruits
----------------
Paring Knife -
3½-4 inch blade.
preferred for hand-held tasks, providing utmost control
----------------
Birds Beak Knife -
type of a paring knife
for peeling small round fruits and vegetables.
----------------
Salmon Slicer -
12 inch blade knife
for slicing smoked salmon.
----------------
Slicer/Carver -
8-10 inch blade
for carving paper-thin slices of meats, fruits and vegetables
----------------
Steak Knife -
5 inch blade
cuts through thick steaks and chops
----------------
Tomato/Bagel Knife -
5 inch blade
for cutting something that's soft on the inside and tough on the outside
----------------
Utility Knife -
6 inch blade
a cross between a paring and chef's knife
an all-purpose knife
----------------
Stop-loss
0.25% blade
for cutting loss when used
for cutting bank balance when not used
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Story of a Prince!
Many tadpoles (novice traders) enter the wet land (stock market)!
Majority don't survive. Are eaten by other water animals (big traders)!
After about five weeks (trades), the tadpole (novice trader) begins to change.
It starts to grow hind legs (defence),
which are soon followed with forelegs (aggression).
Their tails (stop loss) become smaller
Lungs (method) begin to develop,
preparing the frog for its life on land (long term stay in the market).
Now and then, they wiggle to the surface to breathe in air (dencent profitable trades)
They eat plants (easy trading opportunities) and decaying animal matter (share of tougher trades)
Some tadpoles eat frogs eggs and other tadpoles (sign of a budding professional).
Eleven weeks (of consistent trading) after the egg was laid,
a fully developed frog (seasoned mature trader) with lungs (method), legs (guts), and no tail (crisp stop losses) emerges from the water.
This frog will live mostly on land (openly contested stock markets) with occasional swims.
Thereafter, the frog progresses in leaps and bounds!
One in a thousand trader frogs is kissed by a princess (lady luck) and becomes a handsome prince!
That's you!!!
Majority don't survive. Are eaten by other water animals (big traders)!
After about five weeks (trades), the tadpole (novice trader) begins to change.
It starts to grow hind legs (defence),
which are soon followed with forelegs (aggression).
Their tails (stop loss) become smaller
Lungs (method) begin to develop,
preparing the frog for its life on land (long term stay in the market).
Now and then, they wiggle to the surface to breathe in air (dencent profitable trades)
They eat plants (easy trading opportunities) and decaying animal matter (share of tougher trades)
Some tadpoles eat frogs eggs and other tadpoles (sign of a budding professional).
Eleven weeks (of consistent trading) after the egg was laid,
a fully developed frog (seasoned mature trader) with lungs (method), legs (guts), and no tail (crisp stop losses) emerges from the water.
This frog will live mostly on land (openly contested stock markets) with occasional swims.
Thereafter, the frog progresses in leaps and bounds!
One in a thousand trader frogs is kissed by a princess (lady luck) and becomes a handsome prince!
That's you!!!
Hard boiled !
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Although we still don't have a definitive answer to this dilemma
one thing is for sure
there is always an egg before the chicken and always an egg after the chicken!
The first one produces the chicken
then the chicken produces the second egg!
While the first egg is the principal amount
the second one is the profit!
This second egg acts as the principal amount for the next chicken!
This way an entire poultry farm gets created!
---------------
What if the very first egg gets broken?
There will be no chicken and no second egg?
Rather, there will be no further unending chain of chickens and eggs!!
So, it is not as important to know which came first - the chicken or the egg!
What's really important is whether the first egg remains safe.
And since every egg produced by the chicken in the chain is a principal amount for the subsequent chain of chickens and eggs, all the eggs need to be safe-guarded.
--------------
Majority of the new traders in the market are reckless with the egg(s) in their hand!
They underestimate the market
overestimate their skills
and start trading big bets without getting seasoned in the markets.
This is like juggling with the eggs in the dark while running backwards on a slippery floor with eyes closed !!!
Inevitably they end up with eggs on their face!!
hopes on the floor
and the future out of the window!
--------------
Trade small till your practice eggs are hard boiled in the market!
Although we still don't have a definitive answer to this dilemma
one thing is for sure
there is always an egg before the chicken and always an egg after the chicken!
The first one produces the chicken
then the chicken produces the second egg!
While the first egg is the principal amount
the second one is the profit!
This second egg acts as the principal amount for the next chicken!
This way an entire poultry farm gets created!
---------------
What if the very first egg gets broken?
There will be no chicken and no second egg?
Rather, there will be no further unending chain of chickens and eggs!!
So, it is not as important to know which came first - the chicken or the egg!
What's really important is whether the first egg remains safe.
And since every egg produced by the chicken in the chain is a principal amount for the subsequent chain of chickens and eggs, all the eggs need to be safe-guarded.
--------------
Majority of the new traders in the market are reckless with the egg(s) in their hand!
They underestimate the market
overestimate their skills
and start trading big bets without getting seasoned in the markets.
This is like juggling with the eggs in the dark while running backwards on a slippery floor with eyes closed !!!
Inevitably they end up with eggs on their face!!
hopes on the floor
and the future out of the window!
--------------
Trade small till your practice eggs are hard boiled in the market!
Friday, September 10, 2010
liars on the dalal street
"30% festival off!"
"upto 50% off!!!"
"50+30% discount"
"Buy 1, Get 1 free"
"Buy 2, Get 3 free"
"upto 90% off!"
These are some of the funniest and most amusing lines I see in the markets!
Everyone asks for discount before buying!
Every shop worth his trade ensures that he gives discount after some tantrums!
Before even that he ensures that he has changed 400 price label with 500!!
Abraham Lincoln was probably wrong when he said - "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time...."
Discount culture has been fooling all of the people all of the time!
Or, put it differently, all of the people have being deliberately yearning to be befooled all of the time.
In still other words, all of the people have been befooling themselves all of the time!
It is a mirage we all know but we all love to ignore!
Afterall, what does a 30% or 50% or 80% discount mean?
Why should anyone expect a discount and why should one give a discount?
Why not price it fairly?
A discount can mean one of the five things:-
1) Either you were being overcharged earlier, or
2) There is a problem with the product or service being sold now, or
3) They have jacked up the price before window dressing it with "discount" or
4) They are selling it now at a loss, or
5) It is a distress sale.
Distress sale doesn't happen everyday, everywhere and with every product or service!
Also, obviously, nobody sells at loss unless it is a distress sale!
So, the truth lies somewhere in the first 3 lines.
=======
The same logic applies to stock prices
1) Either it was earlier overpriced, or
2) There is some fundamental problem with the company or sector or economy, or
3) The "insider" brokers along with the "friendly" media create an impression of a "discount" after a jacked-up price!
=======
An aware trader or investor should be sharp to spot the reason and call the bluff!
Majority of the trades in the market are bluffs
Learn to know the real worth of a stock, catch every liar on the dalal street!
"upto 50% off!!!"
"50+30% discount"
"Buy 1, Get 1 free"
"Buy 2, Get 3 free"
"upto 90% off!"
These are some of the funniest and most amusing lines I see in the markets!
Everyone asks for discount before buying!
Every shop worth his trade ensures that he gives discount after some tantrums!
Before even that he ensures that he has changed 400 price label with 500!!
Abraham Lincoln was probably wrong when he said - "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time...."
Discount culture has been fooling all of the people all of the time!
Or, put it differently, all of the people have being deliberately yearning to be befooled all of the time.
In still other words, all of the people have been befooling themselves all of the time!
It is a mirage we all know but we all love to ignore!
Afterall, what does a 30% or 50% or 80% discount mean?
Why should anyone expect a discount and why should one give a discount?
Why not price it fairly?
A discount can mean one of the five things:-
1) Either you were being overcharged earlier, or
2) There is a problem with the product or service being sold now, or
3) They have jacked up the price before window dressing it with "discount" or
4) They are selling it now at a loss, or
5) It is a distress sale.
Distress sale doesn't happen everyday, everywhere and with every product or service!
Also, obviously, nobody sells at loss unless it is a distress sale!
So, the truth lies somewhere in the first 3 lines.
=======
The same logic applies to stock prices
1) Either it was earlier overpriced, or
2) There is some fundamental problem with the company or sector or economy, or
3) The "insider" brokers along with the "friendly" media create an impression of a "discount" after a jacked-up price!
=======
An aware trader or investor should be sharp to spot the reason and call the bluff!
Majority of the trades in the market are bluffs
Learn to know the real worth of a stock, catch every liar on the dalal street!
"This Technical Indicator is faulty!"
A trader went to super market and ordered for a technical indicator.
The shopkeeper took out a brand new one, wrapped it nicely and handed it over to the trader.
The trader happily took it home.
After one week the trader came back to the shop and angrily put the indicator on the table
"Here! I want to return this....It is faulty!", he complained!
"How, Sir!" the shopkeeper politely asked!
"First, it is not telling me what I want to hear! It always gives opinions counter to what I want it to! Even my pet is more loyal!!!" the trader started to register his complaints.
"Secondly, it gives half-hearted signals of profitable trade opportunities!"
"Let me get it checked, Sir!" the shopkeeper consoled him.
The shopkeeper asked his technician to have a look.
After half an hour the technician came back and handed over his report to the shopkeeper.
The report said
"The technical indicator is working fine. This insensitive trader expects the technical indicator to speak only what he wants to listen. He listens to the potentially profitable advice of the indicator half-heartedly and later complains that it was the indicator which gave the advice half-heartedly! This cruel trader keeps the indicator starving. Doesn't serve him even a glassfull of attention in an entire day! He listens to his wife and this poor indicator only when he is in trouble! When he is in profit he remains intoxicated in his brilliance for the entire day!"
The shopkeeper showed the report to the trader.
The trader got furious!
"Your technician is blatantly wrong!"
The shopkeeper calmed him down.
"OK! OK, Sir! I will replace this with a better one!"
He took the indicator to the store room and came back with another one.
"Here you have it, Sir! This one will work perfectly fine!"
"It will even lick your face when you profit."
"It is Alsatian Shepalute breed, the best!"
The shopkeeper took out a brand new one, wrapped it nicely and handed it over to the trader.
The trader happily took it home.
After one week the trader came back to the shop and angrily put the indicator on the table
"Here! I want to return this....It is faulty!", he complained!
"How, Sir!" the shopkeeper politely asked!
"First, it is not telling me what I want to hear! It always gives opinions counter to what I want it to! Even my pet is more loyal!!!" the trader started to register his complaints.
"Secondly, it gives half-hearted signals of profitable trade opportunities!"
"Let me get it checked, Sir!" the shopkeeper consoled him.
The shopkeeper asked his technician to have a look.
After half an hour the technician came back and handed over his report to the shopkeeper.
The report said
"The technical indicator is working fine. This insensitive trader expects the technical indicator to speak only what he wants to listen. He listens to the potentially profitable advice of the indicator half-heartedly and later complains that it was the indicator which gave the advice half-heartedly! This cruel trader keeps the indicator starving. Doesn't serve him even a glassfull of attention in an entire day! He listens to his wife and this poor indicator only when he is in trouble! When he is in profit he remains intoxicated in his brilliance for the entire day!"
The shopkeeper showed the report to the trader.
The trader got furious!
"Your technician is blatantly wrong!"
The shopkeeper calmed him down.
"OK! OK, Sir! I will replace this with a better one!"
He took the indicator to the store room and came back with another one.
"Here you have it, Sir! This one will work perfectly fine!"
"It will even lick your face when you profit."
"It is Alsatian Shepalute breed, the best!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)