Midnight sleep-blabber of a stressed trader

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12.40 midnight

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"It's gonna take time.

If I am in a tearing hurry to become rich,

If I am in a tearing hurry to make quick and lot of money,

it is entirely my problem!

I have to be realistic in my expectations from the market.

Need to accept that market can take care of my cashflow dreams but wealth is gonna take time.

It will surely come. But it will come like wisdom, like age, like seasons, like dreams, like surprises, like luck!

If I take care of today, the week will take care of itself. And that will take care of the months and years and decades and destiny and worries!!!

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01.10am

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I have to slow down.

I should not run like a scared dog

fearing that the markets may not be around the next morning!

I have to realise that market and trading should become a part of my routine.

I have to realise that my consciousness and self-flogging levels have to come down to comfort levels

Otherwise, i am likely to burn my "clutch plates"!

It is OK if profits are not raining!

It is OK if I am not profiting daily!

It is OK if I not in the list of top 1,00,000 weathy people in the world as yet!

It is OK if I am never able to make into that list ever!

It is OK.

It is OK.

It is OK.

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02.33am

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I should take the profits as bonus

as reward

as pension

as stipend

as pocket money

as surprise gifts

as a kiss of good fortune for the day

as a promise of life long friendship

as god's blessing

which will never cease to come

which will ensure that I will never be short of money I want for my toys and my belly!

I must not expect these profits as my salary

which must come in

on time, everytime, time after time!

I must treat the profit as a reminder to be happy

and not as a source of worry

I must not wait for these profits to pay my bills of life

nor should I treat these profits as bricks on the staircase to being wealthy!

I should consider myself wealthy right now with whatever I have!

I must treat the market as a life-long guardian who will keep giving me handsome "pocket money" to make me feel confident and secure and happy!

I must not treat the market as if it owes me money!

Market owes me nothing!

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03.28am

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If I am in a tearing hurry to become rich,

If I am in a tearing hurry to make quick and lot of money,

it is entirely my problem!

If I am fit to be wealthy

I will be wealthy one day!

And that destination will be less important than the journey till then!

Can't force make the opportunities!

Can't keep punishing me for missing the opportunities!

I have realised that it's gonna take time.

I have realised that I've to keep parallel life agenda alive!

Market can't be allowed to overwhelm me!

It is important but isn't and can't be everything.

I've got to have a life outside the market.

Decent opportunities come everyday or every other day but not all the time.

Lot of spare time is being thrown and it shouldn't be wasted!

Need to make a routine where I pick the trade like I pluck the ripe vegetables from my backyard garden. I need not eat,sleep and keep guard of my mini-farm all day!

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04.05am

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It's gonna take time!

It is not going to be over in one day or one week or one month!

It is now going to be with me for a lifetime!

Maintaining high levels of alertness and application can destroy my mental and physical heath.

Market is important but isn't and can't be everything.

Market is not my slave and neither should I be of hers!

She does what she wants to do & not what I expect of her!

My obsession has to end!

Fair two-way relation has to take over!

Market has started behaving like a spoilt child, like a spoilt beloved!

Sense needs to come back in the affair. Pampering has to stop. Life must go on!!!

It's gonna take time!

It all is a brilliant mirage.

It promises to quench my thirst around the next corner,

but it never does that fully!

It keeps teasing me and I keep letting it tease me!

I must put her to its rightful place.

I must pull her down from my head and on to the desk!

Need to look outside the window,

need to look at the sunshine,

need to look at the trees,

need to smell the grass outside...

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04.55am

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Market is just that...a market!

It is a hen which lays golden eggs every other day.

It won't and can't give me all the eggs at one go!

Got to keep her happy,

but can't marry her

for she is still a hen!

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06.00am

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alarm ringtone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the trader picks up the remote in half-sleep

switches on Bloomberg UTV

to know the overnight "result" of US markets!