"Its all in your head, youngman!"

Many years ago I went to Kalpa (in the heart of Himalayas, in District of Kinnaur in HP) in a Bolero.

Kalpa is situated at an altitude of 2759 m from the sea level, on the old Hindustan Tibet Road at a distance of 260 km from Shimla.

Kalpa seems so high up from the Satluj below that if we were to throw a stone from Kalpa into Satluj, it would take a few minutes to reach it!

Kalpa is not too far from the China border.

Right in front of Kalpa is the mighty 6050 meter high Kinner Kailash, legendary winter home of Shiva.

When you are in Kalpa you are nearer to God and away from the world.

In those days there were no mobile signals there, and very less traffic.

Just occasional army helicoptors passing from below (we were at mountain top) taking men and essential material towards China border posts.

After dropping me at Kalpa, the driver of our company came back to Shimla by bus, leaving me and the Bolero behind.

I was to stay there for a week on official assignment and had foolishly agreed to drive the Bolero back myself.

Little did I realise that I had no experience in driving the wide and powerful Bolero in the deadly high roads.

Anyhow, I got busy in my work.

The next day, it started raining...................... and continued for the rest of my stay there.

I was thrilled at the majestic view all around including the heavenly Kinner Kailash.

Little did I realise that this would cause flash floods in the Satluj which will damage the already narrow national highway at crucial bend-points.

It is a treacherous road which chills your spine while you negotiate the narrow road with mighty Satluj river deep on one side and huge wall of the mountain on the other.

And then came the news.

The highway had indeed been damaged at more than a dozen points.

The consolation - small vehicles like jeep, cars "can cross the remaining" road, albeit very carefully!

That "remaining" width of the road was just equal to the width of the jeep.

There was no way my driver could come back to drive me back.

I couldn't postpone my return beyond 1-2 days.

Rain had no agenda to stop in the next foreseeable future!

"This is a regular thing here" I was told by a local.

In front of me stood the grand question

"Can I drive back the Bolero myself"

"Should I"

"Can I"

Should I"

"Can I"

"Will I"

The self-discussion made the fear grow in me.

It was real situation in front of me!

I delayed my return for one more day.

But next day I had to return.

And the next day came exactly in a day.

I packed my luggage, put it in the UV, tanked up the diesel and started slowly out of Kalpa

.....towards my destination

.....and perhaps my destiny!

Just 8kms from Kalpa, below Peo, I stopped my Bolero at the first point of broken stretch road.

Half of the road had slipped below in the Satluj due to incessant rains.

"nikal jaaegii", advised an outlooker, who assured me that the remaining road width was enough for my Bolero.

I felt like killing him.

On one side was a 1000 feet drop into the Satluj and on the other side was great wall of the mountain.

Had it been just me, I would have walked through.

I had to drive the beast machine with me.

One wrong move,

one over or under pressing of the accelerator or clutch

one wrong selection of the gear

one hesitation

and the jeep will fall down

with me!

I kept standing till their was a traffic jam behind me.

A elderly local bus driver came to me and looked into my eyes.

He was perhaps the only one who could empathise with me in that my situation.

He understood my dilemma in a flash.

He just came close to me and softly whispered those magical words in my ears which were to change my life for ever!

"The Bolero doesn't know that the road is broken.

Neither does it know that there is Satluj on the other side.

Its all in your head, youngman!"

My eyes went wide open on hearing what he just said.

He was right.

It was all in my head.

I recollected what he said

"The Bolero doesn't know that the road is broken.

Neither does it know that there is Satluj on the other side.

Its all in your head, youngman!"

I sat in the UV,

Carefully, selected the 1st gear,

judged the width of the road,

held the steering firmly

concentrated calmly

said my prayers

and started moving it.

It was full 40-50 meters stretch

and I cleared it!!!

It was like a new life!

It was as if I had conquered Mt.Everest.

I stopped my Bolero, got down and looked behind.

The driver was waving at me.

I waved back, my eyes full of thanks and gratitude

for the biggest lesson of my life he had just given me

"The Bolero doesn't know that the road is broken.

Neither does it know that there is Satluj on the other side.

Its all in your head, youngman!"

I sat in the Bolero again

and this time started driving with a strange burst of confidence.

On my way back from Kalpa to Powari to Karchcham to Tapri to Wangtu to Bhawanagar to Rampur on my way back to Shimla

I came across half a dozen dangerous spots where fear of death could sniff life out of you.

I crossed all those stretches with those magical words

"The Bolero doesn't know that the road is broken.

Neither does it know that there is Satluj on the other side.

Its all in your head, youngman!"

Have you come across situations in life (including trading) when

your brain tells you what to do

your gut feeling tells you what should be done

your experience tells you it won't be wrong if you do it

yet you find yourself unable to "pull the trigger"

unable to take that first step

unable to enter that "trade"

unable to act!

Why?

Fear!!!

Fear of failure.

Fear of losing.

Fear of the pain.

Fear of death.

This fear creates doubt

and where there is doubt, there is surrender!

You leave the trade alone despite the green signal of your system and experience.

Eventually the trade goes the way you "knew" it would!

Now you can't do anything except either run after the missed bus

or see it blossom from a tiny plant of small profit into a big big tree of windfall profits!

You can't but kick yourself for not having gone for that trade!

All this used to happen with me every time.

It still happens at times.

But all I do to evaporate those doubts & fears

is to play that music in my ear

"The Bolero doesn't know that the road is broken.

Neither does it know that there is Satluj on the other side.

Its all in your head, youngman!"